...and here I thought my favorite Nigerians had forgotten me. Never! you say, and you would be correct. If no one emails me one day and I'm feeling sorry for myself, I can always pull up this email and know that someone really wants to get in touch:
NATWEST BANK PLCLAMBETH PALACE RDLONDON SE1 7EHFROM THE DESK OF : WILLIAM MORIS Before proceeding,I wish to introduce myself to you;I am William Moris a staff of Natwest Bank plc London.I am the head of the accountsdepartment.I am pleased to get across to you for a very urgent and profitable business proposal which I believe will profit the both of us after completion.I contacted you after a careful thought that you might be capable of handling this business transaction, which i explained below. The sum of (twelve million Five Hundren Thousand Pounds),has been floating as unclaimed since 2000 in my bank as all efforts to get across to the his relatives of our client who deposited the money have hit the stones.All attempts to trace his next of kin were fruitless.My position here at my office requiries me to investigate and I therefore made further investigationsand discovered that Mr. Andreas Schranner did not declare any next of kin or relation in all his official documents,including his bank deposit paperwork in my bank.I have decidedto seek yourassistance to have you stand as his next of kin so that the said fund (twelve million Five Hundren Thousand ounds),would be released in your name as the next of kin and paid into your account.All documents and proof that will have you claim! this fund without stress will be forwarded to you upon your response to this mail i have unanimously agreed to offer you (four million pounds) of the total sum for the assistance and role you are going to play in thisransaction,(two million pounds) will be given to charityorganizations in your country with your supervision while the remaining will be for me.please send your confidential telephone and fax number.
Several points here: one, I thought William Morris was a talent agency in NYC? I vaguely remember, during my I-wanna-be-a-starving-actress days, dropping some (homemade) head shots there. Strangely enough, they never called. Two, I love the idea that this lawyer/banker of completely unquestionable integrity has simply "hit the stones" in trying to find someone to unload all Mr. Andreas Schranner's - absolute sweetheart that he was, gosh, how could I ever forget that summer on the Cape! How we laughed... - cash on. Third - I can't wait for my delivery of twelve million Five Hundren Thousand ounds!
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