More things I hate

a. annoying guys at work who IM to "say hi". You open the IM screen, scroll down to my name, click on it, twiddle your fingers, and then you write "hi"? First of all, if we talked for more than five seconds I am on to you and I have told you I have a boyfriend. Second, even if I was single and desperate, I would still have to reject you on the basis of your completely assinine and pointless IM. What do you think, I'm at my desk filing my nails and checking my eyebrows for stray hairs waiting for you to say hi? Please, take these hiking boots and go get over yourself.

b. my LSAT class. Not only am I the oldest person in there by about 10 years, I find myself thinking crotchety-old-person thoughts like "well, Mr. Instructor, you may have gotten a 175 and we can all agree you're obviously some kind of idiot savant, but can you tuck in your shirt before you stand in front of us and lecture? What law firm do you think is going to hire you when you look like a truck driver?" And then I get embarrassed in case someone heard me thinking like your single aunt who hasn't left her house in 10 years and watches a lot of "The People's Court".

c. "This is Why I'm Hot". Full disclosure, Bub loves this song, mostly because it mentions Wash Heights, which is going to be his home for the better part of the next decade. It makes my skin crawl (the song, not Wash Heights). "I'm hot cause I'm fly, you ain't cause you not" - what kind of causal relationship are you trying to get at here? I'm not following your logic and that's without even noting your piss-poor grammar.

d. There is someone on American Idol with weird hair and this is evidently a problem for a lot of people. I am furious that I even know this much.

e. I hear Amy Winehouse in far too many places, including my ipod. I cannot stay away. Let me free, O Russet Witch...