In defense of imperfection

...fine, I'm human. I read gossip blogs, probably too often, and I enjoy a moment of schadenfreude as much as the next girl, particuarly when it illustrates the fact that most of Hollywood is as covered in cellulite as is the rest of the world. However. This is about the 30th time I've read about Amy Winehouse's f'ed up teeth. And here. And here. And don't forget this gem, in which she is compared to...a llama. I mean, c'mon kids, we're going to compare possibly the most talented female artist out there right now to a South American camelid?

Here's my rationale. Certain celebs (most of them, actually) are pretend-gorgeous and talentless and we overlook the latter because we like to look at the former. So, fine, beat up on some pop princess who can't hold a tune when she starts to look rank (Brit, you know who you are) or Lindsay Lohan (dammit, I just broke my vow never to name her in this blog) because they are breaking their contract with the public to give us something to ogle and forget our grubby lives and the fact that we let our dogs kiss us on the mouth. But let's at least acknowledge that there are some people out there who are famous strictly on the basis of their talent and they can be missing a damn tooth and it's fine, we're not here to look at them. And yes, there is some talk about her being anorexic, a meth head, or whatever, but I doubt anyone posted these toothless photos out of any genuine concern for the girl's health. We're not doing an intervention here. Back off and let the girl sing.

I don't want to make broad generalizations about society or our culture, but I do think there's a connection between those absurd "reality" shows like The Swan (because it's soooo "realistic" - hey! let's take you apart and put you together like Frankenstein and then you'll be totally fake pretty on the outside and still your same miserable self that led you to this show in the first place!) - a show which I sincerely wish I could put on the "never seen" list. Anyway, what always stood out to me, aside from the stomach-turning premise of the whole damn thing, was those teeth they give the women - they're called like Michaelangelo or Da Vinci veneers. And they are ugly. Huge, shiny, monochromatic chompers. And that, along with the lipo, the extensions, the boob job, the lip injections, and who knows what else, simply took away any character and made them all look alike and all look horrible, conforming to some bizarre beauty standard that is only actually "beautiful" in Vegas or pageants in the South and looks ten times worse with the onset of the first wrinkle.

So, yes, gossip blogger, I know your role is to pick and make fun and make us all feel good because our boyfriend lusts after Cameron Diaz and we hate. But the minute Winehouse caves to the pressure and gets porecelain veneers, I'm coming after you with a dentist's drill.