Monday, June 16, 2008

From London with expense

Hello! By now, all three of you reading this blog will have long moved on to "cooking with kumquats" or "my belly button lint for all to see" no doubt, but in case any friends aren't keeping up with my "wow, she posts a lot for such an old gal" facebook page, I'm back! Well, in the sense of having moved across the Atlantic to a strange country where the drug stores close at 6 kind of way. Yes, I'm here again in London, where I seem to return to oover an over. I thought about changing the title of this blog to Baker Street Girl but the echoes of dogs that don't bark were a little too obvious, and of course I'd always like to keep in mind that romantic fire escape I'd always dreamed of having, where I'd swing my legs over T Street and check out the line to get in to St. Ex.

Strange though, now that I'm here it's as though I read about a life lived on 14th Street - I don't miss it in the sense that I rarely think about it. I think about running with Marian, or going out with other friends, and how many endless nights spent running around the various quadrants of our fair nations capitol, but it's almost as if it was someone else's life I'd read about, as I sit here in England. Still so shell shocked - only here two weeks - that it's nearly impossible too process how I feel about the here and now, much less the then and there.

But I've bought some wellies and gotten used to rain in the mornings and the hours of the private sector, and I'm not so much ecstatic or depressed as I don't feel much of anything. Going to Jordan a few weeks ago and dancing until the sun came up was great fun, and I couldn't stop this organic feeling bubbling up of me thinking "I'm back, I'm back" before the reasonable me noted "you have never been here before" and I thought, what am I back to? Oh, yes, living for me, feeling untethered, chasing the perfect temperature, the perfect sand, the perfect song. And here I've turned 30 in the mix and feel younger and less directed then ever - welcome back me!

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