Sometimes we just get down like that

so one morning about two years ago, mind-poundingly hung over, I waltzed (or rather, limped) into Reincarnations, that fantastic over-the-top furniture store on 14th Street, and plopped myself down on this crazy patterned chaise lounge (pictured on their homepage). I am a fan of chaises from way back, probably because I also think Versailles is tastefully understated (see photos at right - if I could decorate like this, I would. I'd also have flunkies, but that's another story) and I was weaned on Anna Karenina. I want to faint, carry a fan, and eat grapes immediately when I see one. In this instance, not only did I love a chaise, but I had a pounding headache and pretending I wanted to buy it gave me an excuse to lie down in several positions. I ordered one in brown (first mistake).

Six weeks later when it arrived, I had long since sobered up and realized that I had some real spacing issues in my small (but very hip to be square) loft. For one, once the chaise was in the only place it could be in the apartment, there was no room for any other seating mechanism. Slightly awkward when you want to have, say, two friends over. But damn it, I'd paid nearly $600 for it and it was brown and huge and I wanted to wear a white wig and show my bosom.

The relationship has dwindled ever since, to the point where I would sit there (cause where else would I sit?) and every so often look down and go "oh, piss off". Sometimes I'd direct that statement to the pigeons pooping on my fire escape as well, but my animosity was really zeroed in on the chaise. I hated how I had to lie in the same position every time. I hated how it slid around on the floor. I hated that it was awfully big for one person but a leeeeetle too small for two to lay (in the same position) comfortably.

So I revolted. My buddy Maris has always been sweet on the chaise--and even chastised me for not seeing its good side--so I offered it to her at a steal IF she also took me in her mom's SUV to IKEA to buy some overstuffed fabric sofas. This plan came together last week and we were all set to go tonight (Tuesday) when Marian calls (picture me with phones up to each ear) and says "hey doofball (we are very affectionate and non-judgmental), someone on craigslist is selling the same two pieces you're about to shell out for". And wouldn't you know, I was a doofball (evil chaise is probably nodding and smiling right now), because I ended up saving about $400 bucks and I didn't buy new, which kind of makes me a reluctant environmentalist. It only took two trips in Maris' admittedly small SUV, lots of lugging things up and down my four flights of stairs, and some real shoving to get the seat cushions into their new skipcovers. I have no idea where to sit next!