it's 3:12AM, my cell phone's dead, and the lovely girl who found herself sick in my bathroom from too much champange has been escorted home by friends. Earlier in the evening--I threw a small anti-New Years dinner party in which I used my guests as guinea pigs for new recipes--another friend, M. and I had regaled the small group with a re-telling of a disastrous evening about 8 months ago at 1223 at that disastrous idea up there with the Napoleonic invasion of Russia of all-you-can-drink for $20, in which we'd drunk our weight by, no kidding, 8PM, and then I proceeded to show random passers by the contents of my lunch for the next three hours. And this poor beauty, who's seen so much sadness recently, found herself in a similar situation, and I kept saying to her, it could've been any one of us, we're all hurting, one way or another. The story I told earlier, I whispered in her ear, happened because I'd just found out that my ex-fiancee was getting marrried--to a girl that I'd suspected him of cheating on me with, one of the many reasons I left him. And the pain and the humiliation and the insult got caught up in this moment and I ended up on someone's floor, messy and angry and embarrassed. And tomorrow you get up, and after many cups of coffee and more time you'll see that life goes on, and the past hardships lead to better appreciation of the good, and of people who come into your life and truly enrich it. So we all cry, and at some point you're not the girl on the floor, you're the older girl standing over her, wanting to hug her because it's like hugging that former self who so needed it. And that pain is real, and it makes happiness much more happy, and the moments to come so much more wonderful.
Happy New Year, everyone. To my family and friends and especially to Bub, I love you dearly and hope that I make that even more clear to you in 2008.
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3 comments:
I have been both of these girls, too. Thanks for reminding me how far I have come.
And when you're on the floor, you never think you'll grow to be the older, wiser girl, do you? But we all do. Life is a funny thing. Great post.
You put it so well! Hope the recipient of your kindness didn't get snockered on peppermint schnapps -- been there, done that, won't ever do that again!!
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